Intuitive foresight is a double-edged sword

Intuitive foresight is a double-edged sword. Yes, it can be immensely helpful to see where you're going in life. But the thing is, we still need to experience the journey of life. 

People often have this idea that they don't want to "fail." And that something (such as a relationship or career) is a "failure" if it doesn't last a lifetime. 

I very much disagree. I'm thankful for every single one of my relationships and career choices because they've helped me get to where I am today. 

I'm at an intriguing juncture in my life right now. You see, I've shifted and grown so much internally that my current external reality doesn't really match my internal reality. This mismatch is actually really uncomfortable in a lot of ways. For example, my current living situation (location and whatnot) feels wrong. I've outgrown some friendships. I recently had to restructure my entire business (new website, new offerings) because it wasn't aligned with me. There are times when I feel a little discouraged and impatient for my physical reality to match my internal reality -- but I always trust that my external reality will soon shift to match my internal reality if I hold space for it to do so. 

I've been guided to change a lot in my life lately. I had to let go of plans that I once felt very committed to. But that's the thing: Our plans are just drafts of understandings of our life. Each draft of understanding serves a purpose. It helps us learn, grow, and get to where we need to go.

For example, until very recently, I thought that I would become an Alexander Technique practitioner (it's a hands-on healing modality). The training is three years in length and I completed my first year of training in June. I felt totally committed to the training in June and I believed I would be in Boston for another two years so that I could complete the certification. But then I changed. And I suddenly KNEW: I've gotten all that I need from Alexander Technique training. It is not aligned for me to continue to train in that modality. 

I was very shocked at that realization. I had never questioned my commitment to the training before. But I just KNEW I was finished with it. 

Although I will not complete the training, that year of studying Alexander Technique was essential to my growth and my recovery from my chronic illness. I also learned invaluable intellectual tools and perspectives that I incorporate into my practice as an intuitive wellness practitioner. 

So just because I didn't finish my training in Alexander Technique, doesn't mean it was a failure -- it was actually a very successful experience! And my "draft of understanding" that encouraged me to study Alexander Technique was very important to my life! It got me to where I am now.  

When I let go of Alexander Technique training, I let go of a false sense of security -- a false sense that I "knew" my path in life. The truth is, we don't really know what's right around the corner from us. I don't say that in a dark, ominous way. It can actually be thrilling and exciting if you let it be! I wake up each morning and think "Wow, I wonder what glorious surprises will come my way today!"

When I let go of Alexander Technique training, which was no longer aligned for me, I allowed new possibilities that were more aligned for me enter into my sphere of awareness. Suddenly, I felt free (that's an indicator of a soul-aligned decision, by the way!). I realized that I would probably leave Boston by Winter or Spring 2018 (working on bringing that into my physical reality!). Much to my surprise, I was intuitively called to join a different training: A Shamanic Healer training. I previously had no idea that that was an important part of my path this year! But once I let go of what was no longer in alignment, this other training opportunity that was more aligned came into view. 

And by the way, this is not to dismiss Alexander Technique. I still LOVE the modality and use concepts of it in my personal and professional life (literally every day!). I'm just using Alexander Technique as one example of something that shifted into and out of alignment for me. 

As we grow and change (we are inherently dynamic beings!), things shift into and out of alignment for us. There was a time with Alexander Technique training was supremely aligned for me. Now it's not. Just like how living in Boston was supremely aligned for me. Now it's less so.

Back to my first point: Intuition as a double-edged sword. Yes, it can be fun and informative to know your future, to see where you're going. But it can also be dangerous in that it can prevent us from actually going through the life-changing, informative EXPERIENCES that are essential to growth.

If you simply arrive at your destination without learning anything along the way, then you've missed the point your journey (life). You can't just skip to the last chapter of a book and expect to reap the full benefits (insights) contained within those precious pages.  

Knowing and focusing too much on our future is not helpful because it takes us away from the present moment. (What's that quote about how it's called the "present" because it's a gift??)

I'm enjoying myself now in the present. Just because I believe I'll move to a different state in several months, doesn't mean I'll stop interacting with my friends here in Boston. In fact, it's important that I allow my relationships and experiences here to run their course. Withdrawing from my life here in Boston would stunt my growth as an individual -- I'm clearly meant to be here for a while longer! So rather than dwell in the future possibilities, I'm actively choosing to stay present.

The other thing I want to say is that it's important not to get too attached to our conception of our life plans -- our "drafts of understanding," as I phrased it earlier. These can change in an instant. I'm totally open to the idea that my draft of understanding as it pertains to my physical location could suddenly and significantly change from my current conception of it. I'm not attached to my current draft, but I am thankful for how this current draft informs me and asks me to grow. 

For a few weeks now (since discontinuing Alexander Technique training), I've felt much like a child that has leaped into the air and is about to be lovingly caught in the arms of a parent. (Sort of like how a young child might be standing poolside and then jump into the waiting arms of a parent who is in the pool.) I don't know where I'll land. I trust that I'll be caught and cared for, even if I don't know the exact mechanics of how that will happen. I've taken the leap (well, the first of many!).  Yes, I'm a little sad when thinking of leaving the life I've built here in Boston. But I'm excited for where I go in life! And I know that right now, it's important to focus on my present, and not to dwell in the "what if's" of the future.

I see many people get caught in the possibilities of the future, and while it's certainly very important to have goals and whatnot, it's extremely important that we stay grounded in our present -- that's where the magic happens! :)